I took a little while to contemplate the journey, all of the shifts always taking place. So I bring in 2019 collapsing all of these different people, versions of myself in their own time and space, into a second to breathe in all that is my soul.
In every moment we are new people, not the same person we were in the moment before. Simply the same soul, the same consciousness. The person is entirely new with every shift in vibration. Almost everything changes.
The things that don’t change quickly and positively; those are where the work of acceptance come in. Until resistance drops away all challenge persists.
I look at all these people and smile and also don’t hide or shun the pain. I also see that social butterfly and its mixed intentions at a deeper level, of course wanting to love and be loved, yet also going outside perhaps because to be alone with oneself is perhaps frightening. And then there is the opposite aspect, the sage going within and cultivating and creating by himself, yet afraid of really fully exposing his own fear based beliefs about himself.
I ended 2018 with the most incredible cacao ceremony and channeling session. I get the message that in the energies right now, the power of every intentional gathering portal is doubled by the next one. I was so clear in my connection and open afterwards and went to a New Year’s Eve party. There wasn’t even /so/ much substances going on yet nothing felt right. The vibration of other’s using the festivity to escape themselves felt overpowering when I just wanted to stay real and true. Yet that form of celebration was just their truth. I’m sure a different version of myself would have understood it.
27 years of youth is almost 28, a big marker and I’m already in the process. While I contain all of the people I’ve been they are not me. You don’t know me unless you are right in front of me. I am coming to meet the real me by dissolving all my own filters and allowing. You only see the version of me your filters allow you to perceive. Nothing is hidden, simply obscured by belief.
Who I really am is beyond bliss. Bliss is the clearest translation I experience in the moments of purest connection. The masks I wear shift and change. They are still me. I am the All and All Its Parts.
And every single moment I’ve been alive is still here within me, and all that could be as well. I embrace All as I take this moment to reflect.
2018 has showed me my greatest power without a doubt. Jetting around the world like never before, I’ve been through Guatemala, Hawaii, California, Oregon, Sweden, Holland, Germany, Cyprus, and now Peru where it feels like all the movement outside comes to a halt for some immense field of the deepest and smoothest transformation ever to manifest as reality.
2018 has also really threw me around quite a bit. I’ve come to really see people as they are. I’ve always wanted to see the best in people yet I will not limit my perception to not see their shit just as clearly, from afar and from near. 2018 has given me the gift of release from seeking love from others. Instead I will love all, to varying degrees based on my needs and preferences, and accept the love that is reflected back in only the forms I truly prefer. 2018 has reiterated more powerfully than ever that he shifts we make (and resist) can make the earth shake and the clouds rumble. And it has turned the belief that everything can be used in a positive way into direct experience that cannot leave me. Best year ever? Absolutely. Through all the waves I’ve expanded my practice exponentially and now my own personal upgrades are going to make what’s great even better.
Lessons come in spirals. We must actualize ourselves and live our dreams fully, allowing ourselves the full deserving and full expression of what is true for us. Since this journey began in 2012 I knew I wanted to be here in Peru. First I needed to develop the tools and see the world, expanding my perception and understanding. Now I am here today as a master in so many ways. On the surface such clarity, yet there’s still a dark bit in me… A circuit alive in me that believes there’s a right and wrong way to do things and still holds back this fullest self-acceptance that is the next threshold of my own awakening.
The Spirit of this land commands I shed all expectations of what happens next and accepts the complete mission I have here, inside and outside, and I embrace it.
I make no resolutions but ask Spirit to make clear my own goals for me. Yes writing a book. Yes expanding my channel. Yes exploring and serving and giving more. Yet what is most important is the most clear relationship with myself, a relationship that is a direct and perfect reflection of how powerfully Source Loves All.